STRESS!!

As the holiday season approaches, I know I personally am feeling more stress.  Family gatherings, gifts, full calendar... we all experience it, both young and old, and we all manage it differently.  This cycle I have been talking to 4th graders about the effects stress has on our relationship.  When we are stressed, we tend to snap at friends, be rude to parents, and feel overwhelmed. 

Well, I caused 4th graders some stress :)  We played a game called "C'Mon 6!" from Tom Jackson's book "Activities that Teach" to induce stress and to notice how our behavior changes as the game amps up.  Students were in groups in which everyone had a piece of paper and the group shared a dice and a pencil.  Students took turns rolling the dice, and if one rolled a "6", they got the pencil and began writing and counting up to 100.  If another team member rolled a "6" , they got the pencil and began their list of numbers.  This went on until one team member finally got to 75.

Every time it is the same.  Students start off rather polite, asking for the pencil or dice.  As a few team members near the 100 mark, they start grabbing the pencil out of each other's hands, yelling to "hurry up", and grabbing the dice.  They start out sitting, usually, but inevitably end up standing at their desks, some even jumping.

When the game is over, we process - "How did you feel at the beginning of the game?"  "How did you feel as someone neared 100?" "How did you treat each other at the beginning of the game vs. the end?"

We refer back to our amygdalas being heightened by this activity and talk about strategies to calm this down.  My favorite is the 'Bubble Journey' by Smiling Mind, a non-profit, web-based meditation program developed by psychologists in Australia.  It helps students focus on slowing their breath, paying attention to that breath, and calming down their amygdalas. 

Ask your 4th grader about the activity and share with them what healthy ways you have learned to manage your stress!

Breakout EDU - MINDSET!

Several cycles ago, we talked about Mindset in 4th grade.  We read Julia Cook's "Bubble Gum Brain" and talked about how a growth mindset meets challenges with a positive attitude and how when we try difficult things it is helping our brain grow stronger.  When we have "brick brain" and we quit things that seem too difficult, we miss out on growing our brain.

Students in 4th grade were given several puzzles related to a growth mindset and the brain - challenges that had them practicing using a growth mindset!  For each puzzle completed, they received a clue that helped unlock one of three locks on a box that contained a prize.

The prize?!?!  Since Mrs. Flier loves play-on-words, eraser brains because a strong brain makes mistakes and learns from them!!

Mix It Up Day!!!

October 31st was National Mix It Up Day - an international campaign to challenge students to get to know peers outside their circles and appreciate our differences that Teaching Tolerance promotes.  At Willow River, students took a "Dum Dum sucker" and had to find the table that had the corresponding flavor such as pineapple, cherry, or root beer. 

Students had fun asking the "Get to Know You" questions on each table and learning more about peers they might not otherwise sit by.  There were several reports of new friendships too!

More info on Mix It Up Day

4th graders have fun answering questions such as "What superpower would you want to have?"

3rd graders Mixing it Up

Kindergarten Mixing It Up!

UPStanders!

This month we are learning FOUR main ways to stand up for others when we see mean or bullying behavior.  The people with the MOST power to end mean behavior is actually our kids.  By ignoring mean and bullying behavior, they are sending the message that it's okay to continue doing that at Willow.  But by saying something, they are letting the offender know that it is NOT okay and they are letting the victim know that they have support.
I use the NED Show video with Kindergarten through 5th grade, sending the message that there are 4 ways you can stand up; Interrupting, Be a Buddy, Say Something, or Tell Someone.  Student council showed what these all looked like in specials classes in front of the school on Friday at our All-School Meeting.
All staff purchased a "Kind is the New Cool" shirt and wore them on Friday, while UPStanding students were awarded a t-shirt of their very own.  Staff helped purchase half of the shirts while Willow River Parent Group purchased the other half for us.
Ask your child what they have been learning in guidance class this month and chat about what method of UPStanding they feel the most comfortable with.
We are VERY proud of our 15 students who have been nominated so far this year!

Ms. Cameron's class watching The NED Show clip on how to be an UPStander instead of a "bystander"

Students were encouraged to "Wear Blue" to support UPStanding on Friday - Look at this sea of blue at our All-School Meeting!

Willow River Staff support our students who are UPStanding!

Our AMAZING UPStanders!!

Remembering Lily

A Willow parent had mentioned purchasing a necklace with "Lily" on it for her daughter to remember her 5th grade classmate and had made the comment "I wish I could buy one for everyone in the class who wanted one!" I read this comment just moments after finding this gem on my Facebook feed:  Middle School Counselor Blog  and got the idea to make something similar with all 5th graders who were interested.  Many said they'd prefer a keychain instead of a necklace so they could attach them to their backpacks etc.  I wrote "I am awesome" on the back of each, quoting our sweet Lily and giving every child that positive mantra.  Students chose their own washi tape or scrapbook paper to put on the front and we sealed it all up with Mod Podge.  They turned out great!!

 Lily's favorite animal was the butterfly, so we topped them off with a butterfly charm. 

I walked down to 5th grade the other day and this stopped me in my tracks and made me smile :) 

Goal Setting and Frog Tossing!

Third graders are learning how to write "SMART" goals - meaning goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Rewarding, and Timely.  To demonstrate how being "attainable" and "rewarding" looks, students tried to throw toy frogs into a bucket from 2 steps away (not very rewarding!) and then 20 steps away (not attainable!) and then 8 steps away.  They found that when they were 8 steps away, it was far more rewarding when they got the frog in the bucket, but it was not completely impossible to achieve.

Students then wrote down a goal for their fall and made sure their goals were SMART!

Parent Book Club

I'd like to invite you to join me and read "8 Keys to End Bullying" by Signe Whitson this upcoming October!  This book gives practical tools for both educators and parents so we can work together to end bullying in our schools.
All 4th and 5th grade students had a unit on "Rude, Mean, Bullying" last year that was based on this text and the activity book that goes with it.  If one of your children is in the 4th or 5th grade, ask them about it!  All 3rd graders will have this unit this year.
A huge focus for me this year is celebrating our UPStanders - those kids who bravely stand up against mean behaviors and in some cases, bullying behaviors.  Our school is finding ways to help encourage this from our students to celebrate those who stick up for their peers.  Students standing up is one of the biggest ways to end bullying, and they need our support and guidance to know they have the strength to do this!
Join me for 4 Mondays in October/November (every other week) and for online discussion as we apply the lessons of Signe Whitson to our beloved Willow River Elementary.  You can check out the Book Club Syllabus , order the book online, or borrow one from my counseling library!

Monday October 9th

Monday, October 23rd

Monday, November 6th

Monday, November 20th

In Mrs. Flier's office from 2:45pm-school release!

If you're interested or have questions, please don't hesitate to contact me! fliersj@hudson.k12.wi.us or call me at 715-377-3880 X2610!

Kindergarten Gingerbread Hunt!

One of my favorite days in the fall is the day Kindergarten does their school-scavenger hunt looking for the Gingerbread man - and lucky me - he ends up in my office with gingerbread cookies!!  This is a fun way to show Kindergarten where they can go if they are having big feelings and need somewhere to feel safe!

     

Following the Willow Way!!

Last week we visited with all students to review how we "Follow the Willow Way" which is our Positive Behavioral and Intervention Supports (PBIS) system that we have in place here.  Our students in grades 1-3 visited different locations around our building, such as the cafeteria, auditorium, playground, and the bus to talk about how we can show responsibility, respect, and safety in each of those areas.

Students in grades 4 and 5 have heard this many times, so we tried more of a game format to test their knowledge!  We played a "Scavenger Hunt/Scoot" game that took kids around the building with teams to answer questions about the Willow Way.

This year the PBIS team created a brochure that was sent home in folders on meet the teacher night.  In it, it explains the purpose, our reward system, and a matrix of what behaviors are expected in each area of our school.  If you would like another copy, please see Mrs. Flier!

If you are interested in being involved in our PBIS system as an interested parent, please don't hesitate to contact me!  I will be sharing our activities and other PBIS news through this blog, so stay tuned!

Grief and Loss

                                                

As a counselor, I frequently meet with students when they lose a grandparent or a pet.  These are common losses in the elementary world and can be difficult for students to focus on school when they are grieving this loss. I have resources for losses such as this - many in my library here at school and a few I stocked up on after I lost my dog last winter and had to explain death to my 5 and 2 year old through my own grief.  While grief is a natural experience, there is nothing comfortable about it.  

I have also walked with students as they grieve the loss of a parent.  Such a major loss in a young life and each child grieves in a unique way.  Whether the loss was sudden in an accident or over a period of time battling cancer, children who have lost a parent need extra support and love as they process through this.  I have witnessed how the Willow community bands together when a child loses a parent and it is powerful and astonishing just how much love and support rallies when there is a need.

Then, on August 11th, I learned that our Willow community lost a sweet 5th grader, Lillian Fuglie.  She was the poster child for kindness.  She included others, stood up for what is right, and helped her classmates when she noticed they were sitting alone.  I knew we would be having many conversations at school with her classmates and other students who were dealing with this loss during this school year.  And in 11 years as a school counselor, I had never experienced the loss of a student. It was devastating and shocking. Since my natural response to stress is to research, I dove into texts and brochures to find any shred of insight into how to help my students and teachers grieve in a healthy way.  

Thankfully, the American School Counseling Association (ASCA) offers specialist courses in a variety of things, and Grief and Loss was one of the topics.  I was able to enroll in this and gain a list of resources that I have been able to share with our teachers and parents as needed.  Some of it was common sense, but while in the midst of the crisis, there were pieces of advice that reminded me of just how differently children grieve. 

While adults may sense the grief for a period of time and describe it as a "fog", children will "bounce" in and out of grief.  This is concerning for adults who are not aware of this, because kids can look like they're giddy or happy - and then we worry "Why aren't they sad?  Is this healthy?" But it is entirely normal.  They cannot sit in grief for long periods of time.  So you might see them silly and excited to see a friend, and then quiet and tearful the next.  Helping children explain how they are feeling and supporting them in that grief will help them understand their emotions.  

Another tip the experts share is to use terms like "death" and "die" with children rather than euphemisms like "passed away" or "sleeping".  While adults use this language to soften the harsh reality, it is confusing for young children to understand what death really is and they may begin to assume that the person will "wake up" eventually and come back. 

If your family has been affected by a loss and you would like more information, please don't hesitate to contact me.  I have books for children to help them understand death and loss that may serve as a good "icebreaker" into the conversation.  I also have texts for adults to help support children that you may find prepares you better for those discussions.  In addition, the following links were offered via the ASCA training and I found very helpful. 

Links to free resources: 

Coalition to Support Grieving Students

Dougy Center - National Center for Grieving Children and Families

Books/Activities to help explain death and grief to children: 

"The Goodbye Book"by Todd Parr (PK-2nd grade)

Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia (PK - 3rd grade)

When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown (PK-3rd grade)

Grief is Like a Snowflake by Julia Cook (K-3grade)

The Grief Bubble by Kerry DeBay (ages 6 and up - workbook/journal)

Welcome Back!!!!

So excited to have you back at Willow!  This is my 4th year as part of this amazing team of staff and students!

I will be using this blog as a means to get information to parents and share what we are doing in guidance class as well as a school to promote kindness and community!

Thank you for visiting my site and check back for what we're up to! :)

Sarah

What's in a Name?

When I began my school counseling career, I was Ms. Stromberg.  No one ever mispronounced it and it was easy enough for my 5th graders to remember.  For three years I was called by my maiden name and it wasn't until I was applying for a marriage license, that I realized how much of a change it is for women in the education field to change their name.

So I married a guy with the last name Flier.  Looks like it should describe one who flies, but it does not.  Fl-ee-r.  "Like the baseball cards", was the way I described it at my interviews.  "Rhymes with the beloved beverage of Wisconsin", I emailed my new elementary school when I began.  To students, I told them it rhymes with "cheer".

Then, I had a Kindergarten teacher who dubbed me "Mrs. Flier who brings good cheer" whenever I enter the classroom and since then, the name has stuck - with the Kinders anyway. :)  How fitting is that for a school counselor?  Isn't that the definition of what we hope to do - bring good cheer?

I hope to blog ideas I've come across, share what's worked for me and what has not, and organize the school counseling program I have here at Willow.  I am so fortunate to work with five other elementary counselors who are ROCK STARS, a team of teachers who are supportive of the role of a counselor, and an administrator who "gets" what a school counselor does.  I am blessed.