Talking about Race and Racism with Our Kids

With the news from our neighbors Minneapolis, I have been wrestling with how to talk to my 8 and 5 year old.  I want to choose my words wisely - not wanting to scare them, but also attempting to explain why I've been so sad lately. 

Today, I went to pay my respects, donate items, and see what used to be my post-college home.  When I picked my girls afterwards and they asked me how it went, I stumbled with my words.  There was destruction, but there were also those "helpers" Mr. Rogers talks about looking for in scary times. It was a roller coaster of emotions and I wanted to be able to share that with them, but wasn't sure what I should be sharing with them so they can be a part of the solution with me.

Perhaps you're finding yourself in the same boat.  Or maybe you've been having discussions about race in your home prior to this and you are offering ideas to family and friends.  Wherever you are on this journey, you aren't alone.  I'm right here with you.

As parents, we struggle with how much information is too much given that these little people do not have the perspective and wisdom that we have.  We have been navigating this with COVID-19 for the past several months now and that has not been for the weary!  But this this conversation hits nerves and can make some of us very uncomfortable.  I'm here to tell you - it is okay to be uncomfortable.  I encourage you to push through the discomfort and have the tough conversations with your kids.  So where do we even start? 

I have below a variety of resources for you to look through.  Children's books that celebrate diversity and online articles with ideas for the conversations.  Ask your child about any of my Life Skills lessons and they will likely tell you about a book we read!  Books are great ways to talk to kids about tough topics and I often suggest books to parents who request help for anything from changing families to grief.  You can sometimes view a sample of these books online or even check them out at the Hudson library to see if it suits your family and your child's developmental stage. 

These are just a small sliver and are resources I have come across thanks to the wonderful work of our Wisconsin School Counselor Association (WSCA), counselors from across the country in an Elementary School Counselor Exchange group as well as from my Hudson Elementary Counseling team.  There are many more resources out there - but I offer these as a starting block if you are looking for ideas.

These little people will be our teachers one day.  Our social justice workers.  Our clergy.  Our social workers.  Our lawyers and judges.  Our police officers.  Our artists, scientists and polar dog sled drivers.  So the conversation is critical if we are to see change for their generation.  It calls on us as adults to be okay with the discomfort and remind ourselves this is not just a one time conversation to explain the next few news cycles.  It is an ongoing conversation and we will learn and grow together as we go.

We teach kindness at Willow River because all people deserve kindness.  We teach standing up for others (UPstanders) - even though its scary and uncomfortable.  We teach peaceful conflict resolution so that one day they may listen to another person's viewpoint and be respectful of it.  We do not teach these things to simply keep the peace at recess.  We teach these skills because they are critical to our society.  They are critical for our children to feel empowered and strong and safe.  When we do the right thing, we feel it in our bones.  It may be solving a conflict over a coveted snowball from a snow fort across the playground today, one day it could give them the language to speak up when they feel hurt rather than lash out in anger.  My hope is that if any Willow students should ever appear on "What Would You Do" with John Quiñones, they would be the ones using their "I statements" to confront the injustice before them.  

I have all the confidence in the world in our kids and in you as their caregivers.  We've got this.  

Mrs. Flier

Children's Books about Race and Racism  https://www.embracerace.org/resources/26-childrens-books-to-support-conversations-on-race-racism-resistance?fbclid=IwAR387wx6P7wXdzxy1d32Pf3Pyr0Q5zUQflaOphs-wDHhqe7fm0DCrUUpxwU

Talking to Kids about Race (National Geographic): https://www.nationalgeographic.com/family/in-the-news/talking-about-race/

52 Diverse books: https://www.facebook.com/stefanie.kellum/posts/10112692158963725

The Parent Toolkit: How to Talk about Race and Racism

https://www.parenttoolkit.com/social-and-emotional-development/advice/social-awareness/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-race-and-racism

Sesame Street - racism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovoilDJethU&disable_polymer=true

Something Happened in Our Town: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOhOFGcWm8&feature=youtu.be

School Counseling Virtual Lesson at Willow!

This has been hard.  I truly love my "gig" and seeing your kids each morning as they come in our doors to report an update on a loose tooth or to scoop a sad face into my office to help problem solve.  While I have felt a bit lost in all of this (as we all have!) finding creative ways to continue our learning and especially joining classroom hangs or doing small group games became my favorite thing of all. 

With so many options for online platforms and our teachers using those that students were familiar with, this meant I had half of my lessons posted to Google Classroom, some sent via SeeSaw by teachers, and others on Google Docs for students to do.  

I also acknowledge that during this time of chaos and trying to create a "new normal" in your homes, Life Skills may not have been a priority as you were attempting to understand Common Core math or recalling the difference between a pronoun, preposition, and whether it is "its'" or it's" - I certainly had my own struggles over here at my house trying to re-learn 2nd grade math!  Ha!  So I wanted to share out a document with all of the things I was teaching during this time, if your child missed the lessons or wanted something else to do!

Mrs. Flier's Virtual Learning Plan 

My lessons are meant to allow students the chance to listen to a story that I read outloud to them and interject questions, comments and the usual antics they see when I'm teaching :)  None require materials with the exception of the solitaire games or dice games.  While I have them by grade, feel free to have your child explore the other lessons!  I also have "for everyone" options that are solitaire games I fondly remember playing as a kid and dice games that my family and I have learned and enjoy playing.

While "formal school" ends on Friday, I am still available to do small group Google hangs - these have been the brightest spot in my day!  You can use my sign up sheet or simply send an email to fliersj@hudsonraiders.org!  

I will see you all on pick up day!!  I can't wait to see my Willow family again!

Mrs. Flier (aka Sarah)

Resources for Parents: Kids and COVID-19

Below I will continue to add the resources I am finding from my counseling groups to help parents navigate all of this.  I myself was never trained on "how to be a counselor during a pandemic", so know that I am by no means an expert, just someone who gathers information, wants to help support you, and someone who loves your kids!

Come back here periodically, as I will be updating as I find more!

Summer Food Distribution Information and Sign up!

Why our kids are Zoomed Out (or Google Hanged Out in our case!) and what to do about it

Mental Health During COVID-19 (SEVERAL great resources on this website!)

Coffee with the Counselor letter to parents 

Sesame Street Gang Explains COVID-19 for kids

FREE Webinar for parents:  6 Essential Skills to Transform Stress and Anxiety for Kids and Teens

The Germ that Wears a Crown - Ebook explaining COVID-19 to children.  Spanish and Creole versions coming soon!

Helpful Tips for Giving Your Child Feedback

4th Grade - Mindful Nature Walk

Friday was the PERFECT day to try the Mindful Nature Walk that I had sent you all home with.  I hope you have found the time and chance to try this at least once since we have left school.  While I have been going for walks every day, I have not taken the time to be really mindful.  I've had a lot on my mind between my own daughter's education here at home, how to still connect with each of you, and how sad I am to not see my friends that I work with.  So on this walk, I really tried hard to just BE.  I focused on my feet and how they felt hitting the pavement.  I paid closer attention to the colors and the signs of spring around me.  I gave my "Monkey Mind" a few breaths to pay attention to.  I have to admit, I started to think about other things that was worrying me or on my mind, but I tried to let them "float down the river on a leaf" like we practiced earlier this year!

I know you probably miss school and seeing your friends.  Maybe things feel really stressful right now and you're worried about the unknown too.  This, more than ever, is a great time to practice mindfulness.  I would love to see any pictures or videos from YOUR Mindful Nature Walks!  :)  If you have not already joined my Google Classroom, use code: y4xcojq for our upcoming "lessons"!

 Wicket joined me for our walk today!  

The bright colors of this Red Asure Dogwood made me pause and just notice.  Pictures never do it justice, but it was so pretty with the beige background!

Solitaire!

One of the silver linings of being cooped up at home is that I remembered how much I loved to play solitaire when I was a kid.  My aunt Heidi is a card whiz and taught me many ways to play.  I was able to FaceTime with her the other day to have her refresh my memory - something that I would not have done had I been able to leave the house and keep busy. 
I hope to do several different versions of solitaire for you to try at home as a fun way to connect with you!
Miss you all so dearly.  Be kinder than necessary to your families! 

YouTube version

One Handed Solitaire - Via Screencastify

Flipping Our Lids in 1st grade!

First graders are learning about self-regulation and have started out by learning how our brain responds when we are experiencing strong feelings.  We have met our "Guard Dog" (aka our Amygdala) our "Wise Owl" (aka PreFrontal Cortex - yes, even 1st graders can say this!) and our "Memory Elephant" (aka Hippocampus - another fun one!).  Students can show these parts of the brain using their hands, which is Dan Siegel's model for explaining what happens when we "flip our lids".  When our Guard Dog responds, it sends our Wise Owl flying and we aren't able to make good decisions nor are we able to transfer our learning to our memory keeper, or elephant.  Ask your 1st grader to show you with their fist where these parts of their brain are and what happens when the prefrontal cortex and amgydala are not working closely together.  For more from Dan Siegel, check out this YouTube video that explains the hand model. 

After learning about the brain and how this works, we tested our self-control with a little "Freeze Dance" game!  First graders did a great job listening and controlling their movements and we talked about how self control is important for being good friends and good learners!

Rude, Mean, or Bullying?

Third graders began our unit on "Rude, Mean or Bullying" this past week with a pre-survey on Kahoot!  According to Signe Whitson's "8 Keys to End Bullying", "knowing bullying when we see it" is the first key to ending the behavior.  Oftentimes, students will come into my office and tell me they are being bullied, when in actuality, it is a conflict that needs to be resolved. 
We will continue to do many activities for the rest of the year to help our 3rd graders identify if behaviors are rude, mean, or bullying and then give them options for handling the behaviors so that they do not continue or escalate. 
If you are interested in reading this book, I cannot recommend it enough to both parents and educators!  It is an easy read with very practical information in it to help us talk about bullying and mean behavior with our kids in a way that empowers them.  I have several copies as well if you would like to borrow one.